Are black people between the ages of 28-45 getting married?

Readers, I need you to think…dig deep for me.  LOL!  How many of the 28-45 year old, single African American you know have gotten married in the last…let’s say 5 years.

I KTruth and I live in DC, and we were going around looking at condo open houses this weekend.  It occurred to us that one of the reasons we always see a lot of single black females between 28-45 house shopping alone or with their bffs is that they are just that…single.  Thus, their options for finding housing are limited to what one can afford in the District of Columbia on one income.  That isn’t always pretty.  There are areas of the city (rough areas…you know where DC folk) that real estate professionals know the main market will be single, professional, black women.  They price the properties for this market and advertise to them.  The conversation also made me ponder how many of my peers or friends of friends have gotten hitched in recent years (male and female).   The number isn’t a cold hearted zero…but it’s not like I’m looking for dates to take to weddings every other weekend in June.  It made me think of the good ole days, when my parent’s generation was buying homes after marriage (2 income house-hold) like a right of passage.

Ummm….I wonder.   We talk about the plight and impact of the high number of single African American mothers run households in our communities.  What about the childless African American brothers and sister with good jobs who are single?  How does this impact our communities financially when it comes to owning homes and sharing resources? It seems like my generation is waiting longer and longer to marry.  Are they more concerned with career and personal goals?  Have they been scared away from commitment as witnesses of divorce and failed marriages?  What do you think?


Filed under african american, black, black man, black women, culture, dating, family, money, opinion, race, relationships, society, women

42 responses to “Are black people between the ages of 28-45 getting married?

  1. yvonnjanae

    Sistah girl, you have now trampled on the most taboo of all things African-American: The theory of the survival of the fittest being played out in a real way by the abandonment of the black female…

    Imagine, if you will, what anthropologists will think 1,000 years from now when they study the kingdom of the United States and its subgroup, the black family in the early 21st century.

    They will see that black single females, especially those who were college-educated and professionally employed, were the most likely group to be single, never married and to be childless or to have one or two children.

    That group, who, theoretically would be the MOST LIKELY to raise black children who will grow up to compete equally in the global arena, are the LEAST LIKELY to be able to contribute to the future of the race.

    Instead, a permanent underclass of young black people are growing up in poverty, plagued by drugs, gangs and illiteracy. Their mothers, often are struggling to find full-time work, protect their young in a treacherous neighborhood and fend off predatory adult males who pull resources from their families.

    All this while black men who have good educations and good jobs are scarcely available to the professional black women.

    How many generations do you think we can go on like that and still survive?

    I’ll probaby make a lot of people angry. But this issue is so much more important than whether or not we are going to enough weddings. We are destroying ourselves.

  2. Lora

    Sista – you are telling the TRUTH!!!!!!

  3. Thank you for commenting ladies. 🙂
    *in my preacher voice*…I know my microphone is on, but ain’t nobody saying nothing!

    LOL, I know more than 2 people have something to say about this.

  4. Rachel

    Preach ON yvonnjanae! I couldn’t afree with you more!

  5. I feel like I’ve read about this in one form or another all over the internet or in magazines.

    One article placed the blame on males (as everything does) and was race neutral. Basically, your average 26 year old is at his prime, making a lot more money, and looks towards his friends now instead of a wife. SYM (Single Young Male) was the term they created to describe it.

    Traditionally this same 26 year old was married, had a kid on the way, and was shopping for a house. Personally, the only place where I see a lot of this same thinking is among those in poverty or with a “low” earning potential. Financially and to “survive”, settling down makes sense.

    While I truly exhibit all of the SYM characteristics, it has posed a problem. In a social Darwinism aspect, the ones reproducing the most (3-5 babies … no dad) aren’t going to ensure our populations for the future.

    But then again … I like being single and paid. My view on marriage is just significantly different than that of my forefathers.

  6. Reese

    The problem is that many African American women aren’t open to dating men of other races. I am African Am and many of the men I have dated in the past five years have been of other races. Why sit and be alone when you can find a perfectly good man of another race? What’s the big deal?

  7. Crops

    Women have changed marriage over the last 40 yrs so much that it is no longer attractive for men to get married. Fortunately, that is irregardless of race as Marriage is on its last legs. Black men just happen to be ahead of the curve in this respect.

    While Black women were lambasting Black Men, they took their eyes of what the Women leaders of the Feminist movement were actually doing to change the institution. Now black men are happy to deprive women of the horror which is men. We have been put-down for soooo long. “I dont need no man”, “I’m a strong, independent BW” etc. We listened.

    The article that Single Black Male referred to by Hymowitz titled “Child-Man in the Promised Land” is as he said, another article placing the blame on men. And SHE IS SO SORRY SHE WROTE IT that she’s planning to write another article apologizing. Too late.

  8. yvonnjanae

    Hmmmm. Marriage is on its last legs. Guess that means the family dynamic is on its last legs. Which means the society is on its last legs.

    Does anyone find it odd that the two posters who seem to be men see no culpability on their part? It’s the fault of women, as usual, in their eyes.

  9. Crops

    By way of changing the legal system against men? Yeah, do some research and yes society is on its last legs and we have women and MEN who, fearing a powerful feminist lobby cowed to women and stripped men of their Civil Rights while giving women Superior Rights. Still waiting for that Culpability you speak of from yourself. In closing your attitude is the reason WE’RE in this mess. You got us here, your going to get us out of this mess. Welcome to responsibilty. Women are in trouble, you just havent realized it. The men have. Your predictability ALWAYS HELPS.

  10. Crops

    “I’ll be frank. It’s largely because of women like YOU that more and more men don’t want to marry. It’s because of your smarmy, overly-critical attitude (not that you’ve offered any real criticism). It’s also because of your obvious penchant for blaming men for all problems in a society that refuses to hold women accountable for their own behavior.

    With “MEN SUCK” coming from every angle, 24×7, no rebuttal, no wonder men young/old Black/White are reacting with “what’s the use?”

    A hypothetical question for the women:

    Suppose you’re in love with a man and the two of you are considering marriage. As you’re getting close to committing, he tells you that he’d like you to sign a pre-nuptial agreement. The agreement states:

    1. If the marriage results in children, he will stay home to care for them or take a lesser career move to be more free to care for them.

    2. You(the wife) will be primarily financially responsible for the support of the family — even if he’s working.

    3. If the marriage ends in divorce, he will retain custody of the children. You may see them four days per month.

    4. You will pay him (at least) 40% of your take home pay every month if the marriage results in divorce. This amount will be set as a dollar amount and will remain in effect regardless of any change in your personal financial circumstances.

    Would you sign that, or would you judge that to be a bad deal? Because basically, ALL men in the Western world are signing that pre-nup when they get married.”

  11. Rachel

    Crops: Obviously, you are very angry, and you might have every reason to be so. But, this conversation is about marriage, not “potential divorce-which is what a prenup is for.

    The fact of the matter is this: Men and women need each other for many different reasons and were created to have families (among several other reasons). Children are best cared for within the confines of marriage. We are now seeing the results of what happens when you have a large population of children being raised in single parent homes, usually by the mother. Why? because so many men (not all men!) have not risen to the challenge of being husbands and fathers. Then, their children repeat their behavior. When this happens, mother raise their daughters to learn to either be self sufficient or to repeat the cycle. So, you have generations of women who have learned that they cannot trust men to live up to their responsibilities, while also have generations of men who think women are only for sex/their pleasure. So, what we see the viscious cycle. So, don’t blame women.

    On another tangent: Women have been between and rock and a hard place since the beginning of time. We bare the brunt of it all. First, women were totally dependent on men, and when men were done with us, we were in trouble. Now, we’ve become strong, educated and successful, and men are threatened. We can’t catch a break.

    My personal opinion is that some of this patern in our community started with slavery when masters separated male slaves from their families and used them to “breed”. We’re still seeing the effects.

  12. Crops

    I am not angry. If women KEEP deflecting with that excuse it inhibits THEM, not myself. Marriage is avoided because of divorce. Pre-Nups are thrown out of court regularly because they are CHALLENGED. When single-motherhood is supported, championed & promoted you end up w/ the current results. Primarily because women have made it VERY CLEAR they dont need men. Unfortunately have feel into the tactic of making it implicit-they dont want men. The Family Courts are heavily biased in favor of women which is why men have stopped getting married. What preceded this was generations of women shooing men away from the household as iniatially encouraged w/ the scourge of welfare ( early 70’s) thus prompting single motherhood as a viable option. And now its a cycle which is PROMOTED not as a unfortunate consequence-PROMOTED. MEN created the welfare system JUST IN CASE, for the minority of situations where it fathers left the household. Strong, Educated & Successful women are not the problem. Misandry, corrupt-kangaroo Family Courts and Media which constanly puts down both men and boys is way more pertinent to the desires of men for lasting relationships. Slavery is inconsequential when marriage in the black community was flourishing (late 60’s) before welfare and feminist groups starting preaching AGAINST men. You have to look at WHEN things started to go awry in the black community. It was the feminist movement, which had its benefits & was necessary, which ushered in all of this ill will towards MEN. Black men are tired of it and marriage is NOT coming back. I feel that women have been used to break down the Nuclear Family. The fact that I defend this fact doesnt make me as angry as those persons which deny the valor of ALL of my points and considerations. I’ve studied this for a while as my passion for BLACK LOVE forces me to rely on more substantial data-gathering than anecdote & The Encyclepedia de ESSENCE magazine. Its ILLEGAL to be a Dead-beat Dad however its not illegal to prevent a father from being a part of their childrens lives which is why their are more cases of MISCREANT MOMS than Dead-beat dads. Feminism & changes to marriage law has done FAR MORE damage to the black family than any ANGRY masse of BM could ever hope to accomplish. BW and all women in general are starting to feel a backlash and its only going to get larger. I KNOW WHY. Its inevitable. But again it doesnt make me mad. It makes me more informed than the average.

  13. Crops

    also: With close to 70% of divorces being iniated by women w/ significant financial lost being suffered by men, many male suicides post divorce and being reduced to forthnight fathers, marriage is ALL about potential consequences for MEN. Women have a support system & Secretive biased family courts already set-up which is why you probably dont consider divorce as much as the potential victims of it-MEN.

  14. Black Women chased their men away from the household just to get a welfare check? Oh, then I guess that’s why HIV/Aids Stats for BW aren’t so hot these days? Carma, huh?
    I want to work with you, Crops, but you are the third Brother I’ve read online today spreading “information” on how BW are responsible for the breakdown of the Black Family… I can call all of my black friends today -reguardless of class- and an overwhelming majority credit of the rendering is due to a BW, and sometimes in very difficult circumstances. Anyone who is wise enough to understand that the last thing we need to be worried about when a marriage fails is FAULT- and the most important thing is for the children to have a chance at healthy lives, is a champion no matter what sex, culture, or ethnicity. As a former Anthropology major, I remember now why I dislike studies so much -If all that your “information” can tell us is that we’re a society full of victims, then no thank you. Love heal’s all wounds….. let’s “study” that..

  15. Crops

    Then your breakdown of the fall of the Black Nuclear Family is what? Does it consist ENTIRELY of surmising the failings of my quest for Knowledge/info on the situation or does it also contain your ideas on the matter. Example:

    If BW comprise an alarmingly large amount of HIV/AIDS cases and BM who are criminas and drug users also comprise a large no# then what wwould that tell you? Give me reasons that I might counter, please.

    And theres a reason you see a large amount of men commenting on the situation, maybe you can give us a short analysis of why?

    …along with AIDS/HIV connection w/ WIC/Welfare.

    Your performance decides whether or not I would WORK W/ YOU.

  16. Crops

    …and Love does not exist in a vacuum. Any women can tell you that.

  17. Crops, I have a personal question…feel free not to answer (I completely understand). Are you divorced and/or did your parents divorce? Sorry to get all “counseling session” on ya, but your comments beg the question.

  18. Crops

    None of the above.

  19. Crops, your performance compels me to continue because I admire your passion.. However, if we spend too much time on the “breakdown” of the causes of the deteriorization of our kind, then we have wasted valuable time and energy on something that won’t matter in the end. It doesn’t take an analysis to understand “responsibility” and “consequences”- History Overview: humans drop the ball and cause other humans to suffer- sometimes it’s women, sometimes it’s men, sometimes it’s Germans, Egytians, etc…
    Love may not exist in a vacuum, but you do not have to be a genuis to understand it, or recieve it. Even adopted children can recall a moment of unconditional support from a nurse or some accidental passerby who came into their lives- instead of sitting around being envious about what somebody else has, they can use that as a standard to reproduce in their close relations with others, or explore the vast number of activities they can find pleasure from experiencing until love from another returns… Our focus on this important topic should be to consider how we are working to resolve these issues that we recognize as troubling for our people… or, at least get a good laugh while we work to overcome… In addition, use our time here on this planet as living protests of “life draining” activities such as blaming, complaining, doubting, ect… After my day at work, I’m expecting some young girls from my neighborhood for mentoring. That’s what I call “spriraling up” as an alternative to “breaking down”, ya dig?
    All Joy!,

  20. Crops

    “We talk about the plight and impact of the high number of single African American mothers run households in our communities. What about the childless African American brothers and sister with good jobs who are single? How does this impact our communities financially when it comes to owning homes and sharing resources? It seems like my generation is waiting longer and longer to marry. Are they more concerned with career and personal goals? Have they been scared away from commitment as witnesses of divorce and failed marriages? What do you think?”

    Oh theres no problem, lets not blame . What I ‘m getting from you is ignore whats happening to Marriage and Relationships in this country and worry about what you can do for yourself and others. “blaming, complaining, doubting” is exactly why we’re here its been one-sided and Black Men have been the victims. AND ITS LEGAL! Black Women/women go along unchecked. Your humanism is diversionary. And I’m as sweet, caring as they come. But I’m not stupid. Black men/men have reached the tipping point.

    Women/womens groups/Family Courts are being discussed seriously in terms of damage to the nuclear Family in Canada, Israel, Australia, the UK and America. At last we may get to te point where we stop blaming the victims.

    Here’s a recent article for you. Theres been a TON of them. Do BW even want BL. Dont they ever investigate. It captures alot of what people definitely have started to notice:

    The blaming of men for financial & family gain while families actually crumble. I would of never considered it myself until I started looking where I was convinced NOT TO LOOK! The virtuous, blameless women. I dont wanna deal w/ a women who tells me to ignore whats happening, not anymore. Its not the MEN ladies. These articles have beeen popping up all over the place. Single Black Male just happened to read the same Man-blaming article as me. A tipping-point has been reached.

    Its like BW dont even care what happens to the black boys! Its all about the female gender. Men be damned. When’s the last time you heard something constructive in the way of Federal/Stae programs or incentives for the Nuclear Family being proposed? Anything to improve marriage? Alternative marriages are discussed not man/women& child. Gay marriage/contracts and single-motherhood is the last you’ve heard about the family. Thats my point. The fed/state could care less, its makes for weaker constituents who purchase MORE. The Nuclear family is about the conservation of resources. Women threw away men a long time ago.

  21. Crops, I totally feel you on the importance of this, it’s our approach that’s different. My words were, “Our focus on this important topic should be to consider how we are working to resolve these issues that we recognize as troubling for our people”. That doesn’t mean ignore the problem. I believe you are a totally brilliant person with the best of intentions. My hint went under your radar, but I was trying to suggest that maybe if YOU weren’t so busy making post, after post of your “evidence” here of how women threw men away, YOU might be able to spend more time directly effecting the overwhelming odds against our black boys who I also happen to mentor each week for lack of a black male counterpart.
    Don’t take my word for it, there’s A TON of “evidence” out there to back me here, but I spent my posts on reasoning out of what could apparently go on for days to offer a solution… At some point you do want to get to that, right? Knowing good and well that these articles with your “evidence” will continue to be written for their shock value to sell journals while our sons and daughters suffer- shouldn’t we be here to come together to talk @ what the h*ll we are going to do about it instead of, antagonizing one another? My statements are not to ingnore you but to engage you with a higher alternative because I would want someone to do the same for me….

  22. Crops

    You’ve done nothing but atagonize me. Its Ok. Any answer to the question posed? thats why I re-typed it. Kind of subtle, I guess. Higher alternative? respond to the question. Dont tell me HOW I should. I did. Your evidence would of helped by now…Stay on target. What was the question? Was it me?

  23. My apologies if you have felt I said anything here to provoke your hosility, but nothing I have written came from an antagonizing spirit. My answer will always be not to answer your question because I believe that the healthy target here is the solution, or at least that our talking points should not be wasted on victimizing and angry attacks…. That you refuse to recieve my advice does nothing to prove that it’s wrong.
    We all get our God-given choices… I’ve made mine, and I know that it is good….
    Mo’ Joy!

  24. Crops

    Solution: Take careful stock of the changes that have actually been done to the institution of marriage. Bother to look. Black People are worth at least that. Along w/that review whats happening in Family Courts. Are feminist groups telling women to avoid marriage or are they promoting it/ helping the situation? Start filtering. Is it true? Why? If you see anything wrong? -advocate for legal changes/ investigation and prosecution of these APPOINTED members of the Family Court System and check the PR on the Divorce Industry. If you think they been disingenous? Check em’. BUT YOU GOTTA LOOK.

    Example: Upon doing the above I was able to find out that Feminist organizations such as N.O.W, along with those ID’ing themselves as Family Organizations have been BLOCKING Shared Parenting Iniatives for at least the last 3 yrs. they’ve also tried blocking the ability for a man to claim Paternity Fraud if he finds out that the child is not his. These same courts have told men that if they dont suspect their mates w/i the 1st 2 yrs of birth than they are FATHERS like it or not. Thats disturbing! If the laws upon your review along w/the actions of these groups dont “feel right” to you, then speak/email/ petition/picket/ word-of-mouth

    Dig your portion of the gravel. whether your in a happy IR or not.

    But you ID the problem, or your interpretation, so be it. but dont stop dialogue. This is already a pot-holed road to get black relationships back. If you dont expect some “roll w/ the punches”- Then its not worth much to you. Man-up. I can point to the problem. Because I bothered. That allows me to solve it. My happiness depends on it. Im all for what you can add to it as well.

    Refute me w/a bit of that “ton” of evidence. I Quote evidence in order to spread Knowledge or what I have of it. The only thing that will refute what I can empirically prove is fact. Your not communicating. Again what problems have you noticed and what are YOUR solutions. I saw mentoring. Why are you on my back! What do you believe…back it up. I think this problem is worth that. SHOCKING huh.

  25. yvonnjanae

    Buena, why are you treating this guy so delicately, when it’s clear he has a deep-seated hatred of women. You can’t soothe that away from him. It’s him.

  26. Crops

    Yvonnnjanae thank you for this here:

    “Sistah girl, you have now trampled on the most taboo of all things African-American: The theory of the survival of the fittest being played out in a real way by the abandonment of the black female…”

    “I’ll probaby make a lot of people angry.”

    Bitter? You were 1st @ bat. My my. You using crayon-to-text Software?. Thats why you had to piggyback because both of you are hypocrits. Lemme explain. yvonnjanae blamed BM. I blamed BW and showed proof and gave rational as to “Whats in Marriage for men”. Yvonnejanae, post bottle-feeding I’d supposed, had nothing to say. What a baby. But you couldnt take the hit. So you havent responded to anything I’ve said. I’ve nailed yours point for pont. You cant…baby! Next Buena717, simply tells me to stop talking, this is the time for healing. BUT DIDNT COUNTER AGAINST THE MEAT OF MY POSTS. I DO.

    When conversations are held on the black community they seem to always be based around the failings of men while the women arent discussed or their immune. Their allowed to pawn the actions on us BM. We never can get to the problems of the black community beause only one side takes responsibility while the other SEEMS socialized to AVOID IT. Thus whether I had a valid point or not, 2 outcomes were predictable:

    Shout me down while spitting green pea soup OR
    Bring me back to neutral by saying lets not point fingers. I WAS WILLING TO DISCUSS BM FAILINGS. But we do that ALL the time. WHAT NEW WRINKLE CAN ANY OF US OFFER?
    We eventually are gonna have to discuss the women.

    Both of you prove why thats so taboo. Complaining by BW about BM is just sooo cute.
    That day is over.

    BW are Guiltless Awards:

    yvonnejanae for her performance in “Brat” by Tyler Perry
    Buena717 for “Naivity/Deflection”

    You dont want Strong Black Men. you couldnt handle them. still cant. i’ll speak to anybody else on the issue. I wont deflect.

  27. yvonnjanae

    I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to Buena. I have no desire to converse with you on this or any other topic.

    If you believe BW are the source of all our problems, so be it.

  28. Crops

    Not the source of ALL of our problems, just the most pertinent @ this time.

    “When conversations are held on the black community they seem to always be based around the failings of men while the women arent discussed or their immune. Their allowed to pawn the actions on us BM. We never can get to the problems of the black community beause only one side takes responsibility while the other SEEMS socialized to AVOID IT”

  29. Dandy Green

    I believe that black women do want to be married, to feel appreciated, and to raise black children. Black men have regressed. Black men were not as hell bent on being playas, pimps, and baby daddies back in the 60’s. 70’s and 80’s. The only hope for Black women is to date out of our race. It is too late to think of the disappearance of the Black family. It will not get any better. I would advise dating men of other races who want the same things as you do. Don’t wait around for Black men to get it together. Many Black women want to blame us for the way that relationships are now. If you want to date a ghetto bird black woman then maybe you will not be happy because she does have issues, but then again if you date an educated black woman and or a black woman who does not talk in broken english or act like a hood rat then you want to accuse her of being too “white”. Unfortunately, black people are too busy bagging on their own kind, and talking down about our own folks to even know when someone good comes along. The Black race has a lot of healing to do and I don’t see it happening in this lifetime.

  30. Crops

    I am so looking forward to the response from BW when the marriage #’s continue to fall eventhough IR pick-up. What will be the problem then? I guarantee it wont be the fault of BW who have been very anti-male across all socioeconomic lines eversince the feminist movement in 1969 told them that men suck. BW just addicted to the premise @ this point. Fortunately there is a growing contingent of BW who realize that their never being RESPONSIBLE for 50% of the problems in the Black Community is causing a backlash. Thus, no longer do BM have to WORRY about BM haters in their bedroom. A tipping-point has been reached. Thank God!

  31. Romeo

    As a society reaches its peak in territorial expansion, technological advancement, and population per square ft/mile… the rate at which a given society grows will curtail. That means that it is inevitable that the birth rate will level to equal the death rate and the population growth curve will flatten. given this, the need for a male and female to copulate and reproduce offspring will not factor in as much as a part of survival and therefore; the need for marriages and nuclear families will cease.
    We are just witnessing a natural part of our ecosystem as far as mating goes and have no other way of explaining it but to point fingers and nag. It’s natural… get over it. It’s not a “problem” but a solution to nature’s ongoing process… All other species go through it. 🙂

  32. Romeo


    We breed two nigger males with two nigger females. Then, we take the nigger male away from them and keep them moving and working. Say one nigger female bears a nigger female and the other bears a nigger male; both nigger females—being without influence of the nigger male image, frozen with a independent psychology—will raise their offspring into reverse positions. The one with the female offspring will teach her to be like herself, independent and negotiable (we negotiate with her, through her, by her, negotiates her at will). The one with the nigger male offspring, she being frozen subconscious fear for his life, will raise him to be mentally dependent and weak, but physically strong; in other words, body over mind. Now, in a few years when these two offsprings become fertile for early reproduction, we will mate and breed them and continue the cycle. That is good, sound and long range comprehensive planning.

  33. The deterioration of the black family is not the black man nor the black female’s fault. It rests solely on society and the negative images of black people. For example, black music turned somewhat negative in the late 80’s early 90’s (i think) anyway when you think of the images of black people in the 80’s, 70’s and 60’s in music, tv etc it was pretty positive. Now it’s common for us to call each other nigger, bitches and hoes. If a black man sees his potential black queen as a “ho or bitch” and a black woman sees her black potential black king as a “nigger, theif, thug or liar. What makes you think these two will want to marry each other??? There is hope let’s clean up our image and demand positive music and images so we can start respecting one another…the Obama’s have somewhat started it but we have work to do ourselves….

    Black men…you are not a thugs, you don’t have to be on a street corner get a mcdonald’s job and work your way up…you can be the Manager or owner eventually…

    Sistas..don’t criticize or laugh at a brothers working at mcdonald’s encourage them and respect yourself, demand respect from men and they will want to marry you

    Black love will prosper and there is hope!!

  34. Khadija

    You know it’s time to stop all of this nonsense. These debates on race are of the old generation. I’m eighteen and an african-american girl no need to say that I’m proud.(lol) I don’t know about anyone else but I’m so tired of the black women in my family complaining at the dinner table about why no black man wants them and fussing at their sons and brothers for dating and marrying women of other races. I just roll my eyes and shut up. This is not my battle to fight. Let’s be honest: the only reason that many black women are not putting themselves out there to other races is that they have been consistently reminded of their unique features, which are regarded as unwanted to mass society. They are just afraid that no other race of man will want them. I’ve dated outside my race for most of my life- including black guys. They are getting cockier and cockier with time. Black men are being worshipped by women of all races because-let’s be honest- they are a lil bit better in the bedroom. I just want to urge for black women to be a bit softer. What man wants a woman that’s constantly boasting that she’s PROUD and INDEPENDENT?! Every human being should be but it is our birth right to be treated gently, taken care of even when we can take care of ourselves. What’s wrong with cooking his dinner and curling up in his lap and saying, “Baby, can you do this for me?” Men want to be needed, just as we do. This is what I’ve learned in my short years.
    Okay this note is too long but I’m gonna end it with this last suggestion for black women wondering why no black man wants them. Well maybe two suggestions:
    1. Open yourself up to everyone!! Why do we have to date exclusively within our race?
    2. Goodness, what the hell is wrong with sucking some d**k?!

  35. Catrice

    I saw a frighetening truth today when I went to my son’s school for a parent teacher meeting. I saw young, white parents (husband and wife) conversing with other couples and watching their children play. I even saw hispanic parents there. I saw black women standing alone talking to the teachers and seeing over their child(ren) at the same time. I saw mixed couples (mainly white women and black men) with their child(ren). Why is it that the black women were the only ones alone? Why is it that those black women had to stand there and forsee over their child’s future single while a white woman doesn’t have to be?? Is it so hard for a black man to be with a black woman? What’s the deal?

  36. I'm Onto You

    I think you are a just another white woman using this b.s. to try to make black women feel worse about themselves. This website is called Hello Negro. That doesn’t sound kind and I don’t care reason you give for calling it this. I also saw a side bar here that was entitled Black Salvage as a play on words. You think you’re funny, wh1te azz nukka.

  37. I’m Onto You, You’re on something…

    I’m a proud, black, african american female.

  38. Scott

    The problem is simple…feminism has caused a lot of BW to think that they can live free without consequences. There are a ton of bad black men out there. Irresponsible, lazy, worthless. There are also a good deal of good brothers out there also. Educated, honest, caring.

    The problem is that BW are choosing the wrong men. You cannot expect a man who was irresponsible before he slept with you, to be responsible just because you got pregnant. He won t be and he will leave you with a child to raise by yourself.

    But this is your fault because you chose from the wrong pool of BM. Ladies, you are not doing your children any justice by allowing irresponsible men to be their fathers. Your choice is the reason why the black women were alone at the PTA meeting.

    Stop having babies by the bad guys and go after the good men.

  39. BM

    I wish bm and bw would talk TO each other and not AT each other…when I go out with my wife, and see tables of bw sitting together, I know what the problem is: these damned black men who choose not to riase their kids, an have excuses on top of excuses for it. We have a generation of BM who were not taught the fine virtues of manhood, and therefore do not live with a sense of direction.

  40. Ade

    I am a black man originally from Africa. I am a well educated professional in my late 30’s. I moved the US barely 10 years ago.
    In my quest to find a wife I have dated quite a few women of different races, including sistas. In my experience however, it is much harder to handle my black sistas than it is to relate to women of other races. They tend to be less flexible and wouldn’t compromise, even on seemingly small issues. One clearly told me “I don’t need a man”. Many of my professional colleagues have had similar experiences.
    Our sistas would do well to know that men are not getting married because of the inflexible attitudes of many women, particularly black women. I have decided to go back to Africa to go look for a wife. At least, the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know.

  41. Dan

    The real question is how did things get like this? Answer: The Black Family: 40 Years of Lies:

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