As black women dating white men becomes a topic I see more and more of in the black press and on blogs, I wonder…Will the stigma that haunts these relationships in the US be as large as the one that haunts Black Male/White Female relations.
From Why black women are doing the white thing
Now, rather than sitting around dreaming about the perfect black man, black women are considering the possibility that ‘Mr. Right’ could be white. Casting aside reservations about interracial relationships – for some, due to the atrocities committed during slavery – they are beginning to look past race when choosing a potential mate.
Race doesn’t matter to Paul Kennedy and Michelle Clarke. Best friends since primary school, they are now in a relationship together. Kennedy is white and Clarke is black. “People are finding people with common interests and common perspectives and are putting race aside,” says Clarke, 26, a Middlesex University graduate who works at Barclay’s Bank.
Clarke and her friends are among the new generation of black females that are opting to date outside of their race due to their social environment. Like Clarke, the majority of young people have friends or acquaintances of different races and nationalities, and are seen as more tolerant and open-minded than previous generations. Unlike their parents and grandparents, today’s teens and twenty-somethings have grown up hearing the buzzwords ‘diversity,’ ‘multicultural’ and ‘inclusion’, and are used to seeing interracial friendship and romance portrayed in films and on TV – especially in soap operas and adverts.
“I don’t see colour as an issue,” states Clarke. “We have been very happy together and apart from a few isolated incidents, we have not experienced any open hostility towards our relationship.” Continue reading
Filed under black, black man, black women, change, culture, dating, news, opinion, relationships, society, stereotype, women
Somebody was so intent on letting Tim Ross, an African American, and his White wife, Robyn, know that they aren’t welcome in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, that he/she stood in mounds of snow on an ice-cold Sunday morning to spray-paint a hate message on their wall. WATCH THE VIDEO from a local station.
Neighbors let the Rosses know that there was racist graffiti on the side of their brick house, the Cedar Rapids Gazette reports.
When they went outside, the stark letters – “White power,” “LEAVE NOW” and “NIGGER” were accompanied by a picture of a hangman’s platform with a stick figure hanging from it.
“They painted a swastika on my bedroom window, right by my head where I was sleeping,” said Tim, 35, one of very few people of color in the neighborhood.
He believes it was personal. “Whoever it was had to get out and stand in piles of snow to do this,” he said. “It’s disheartening, especially in Cedar Rapids. It’s easy to forget I’m African-American here.” He grew up in Burlington, in southeast Iowa, the Gazette reports.
During his early years, he says his family felt the brunt of racism, but this was special.
“It was like a wake-up call,” he said. “It’s really frustrating to think people still think this way.” The Cedar Rapids Police Department is investigating the incident as a hate crime.
Said Robyn Ross, 25, “We’ll be interviewing neighbors.”
Source: BET NEWS
Filed under abuse, african american, black, black man, community, crime, hate, injustice, interracial, media, news, race, racism, video, white folks, why
In my home state of Kansas, LeRon Berry’s anger has turned into worry for his family after finding a pumpkin covered with racial slurs, a drawing of hanged person, a death threat and white-power sayings slammed into his 1984 Delta 88.
Berry said he believes his family was targeted because his wife, Misty Hadenstien, is white and he is black. The couple have a 17-year-old son and an 8-year-old daughter.
“I just don’t understand, from all these years, this color thing and how it’s still so alive,” said Berry, who moved his family to Wichita from the Kansas City area about a year ago. “I just would hope that everybody wakes up and people see that, even in nice communities like this, bad things can happen.”
As of September, police have investigated eight hate crimes: six anti-black, one anti-Hispanic and one anti-white.
Source & Photo: Kansas.com
I stumbled upon this blog posting from Roissy in DC and posted it on singlesista.com. Very…interesting. Can you say objectification? The comments from white folk on his blog are just…you know what…go see for yourself. smh
:: My first dating experience years ago with a black girl was a positive one. She was really cute with a penchant for wearing stiletto heels and a habit of flaky behavior that I found endearing. I remember the reactions we got walking down the street together holding hands. Most people let their glances linger a fraction of a second longer than they otherwise would have. In hindsight, I understood why this might’ve created some curiosity in people; a white man with a black woman is one of the rarer combos. Onlookers naturally want to figure out what’s bringing us two together, so they examine us for clues, maybe like matching shoes or to see if I was acting black or she was acting white.
I don’t give these things too much thought when I’m out with a girl of another race because I like to throw all my mental energy into enjoying the woman rather than overanalyzing the societal implications of our pairing.
But while we were dating some things did catch my attention. The black guys we passed on the sidewalk stared at us longer than other people did and made Hmm mm damn sounds which I can only describe as a mixture of disapproval and respect.
The black women we walked by, on the other hand, had a much stronger reaction. Curious and aroused, they eye loved me like I was the filet mignon of manmeat. I think I could have given every one of them an open invitation to join me and my date later in the evening for a night of 50 on 1 group sex that would have qualified for the Gold Edition Penthouse Forum.
I recall the sex pretty vividly because she was exotic new territory for me. I’ll admit I was intimidated when we started banging because I figured most of her experience was with black guys and their huge schlongs. She climbed on top and a wave of relief swept over me when I hit her cervical wall. I was big enough for her. Continue reading
Filed under african american, black, black women, blog, booty, d.c., dating, interracial, opinion, race, washington dc
Hello, Negros and Non-Negro friends!,
I run another blog, singlesista.com, where I talk about African American Women finding love. As a single African American women, I’ve found that one of the major topics of conversation among my single sistafriends is how to meet a good man and have a long term relationship that could possibly result in marriage. I personally think it has a lot to do with the overall pool (and shortage in that pool) of available black men. However, I’ll save my detailed thoughts on that for another time. I’m many times scowled at when I propose the possibility that black women may have to get comfortable the possibility with being alone for the rest of their lives due to a number of factors….
1. Men don’t find them attractive (Weight, let themselves go, dating younger women, men are visual..etc)
2. They are too picky and don’t want to “settle” for less than the brother that fits their “list”. Not tall enough, not “black” enough, doen’t make enough…etc
3. They don’t try hard enough. They think a good black man is going to just magically appear. Most of these women don’t date online or go out of their way to be in the presence of men (it’s a numbers game).
4. They don’t acknowledge that murder (crack was king in the late 80’s and 90’s), the prison system, homosexuality being more accepted in society (and the down low)…all affect the numbers of available men. The ratio of single black men to single black women 1-5 or more in many cities.
5. They don’t date outside of their race.
I’d like to know what you think about number 5. Here are some reasons I’ve found as to why black women don’t date outside of their race.
- Dating outside of your race is something that African American women have routinely bad mouthed African American men for doing. It’s very, very hypocritical for those same women to now date white, hispanic, asian…men.
- Black women assume that men of other races (most notably white men) don’t find them attractive. One of the major reasons why…They don’t get hit on by men of other races. Some of this can be explained by where black women spend their leisure time and where they meet men (all black environments, such as church, vs. mixed environments).
- Black women are taught in the home and the culture that the perfect man for them will be a black man.
- Connotation from slavery (domination by a white master, rape) still linger in the subconscious of black culture
- Family and community may not approve. Many black men are offended by black women dating white men, and feel it’s a betrayal.
- The need to have a partner in the struggle, someone who understands the black experience
- Not wanting to be desired because of your ethnicity, “black concubine” syndrome
Why should black women date outside of their race? What do you think about it. Are you a black woman who’s been involved in an interracial relationship. Tell me the positive, negative and in between.